If Google Voice is the Swiss Army knife of call management services, speech-to-text voicemail transcription is the questionable nail file. Google Voice’s transcription failures are well-documented around the Internet–entire Web sites are dedicated to these follies. They’re more amusing than frustrating, provided you’ve got a sense of humor. Fascinated with Google Voice’s brand of surreal humor, I set out to find the best (worst) Google Voice transcription errors. I found them around the Web, and collected more from the Technologizer comunity, including our founder. Read on for some examples of why Google Voice transcription still has a very, very long way to go.
Hi Kelly, Death calling.
I just wanted to let you know so that you weren’t surprised if you come back for shower tomorrow that my cousin is girlfriend, maybe.
Lesson learned: Following awkward confessions by voicemail, Google Voice injects a pinch of ambiguity. [Source]
Hi Mike, It’s Mom Mom, I got three dozen roses, I can’t believe it. Gosh I’m gonna have to get up on you or something.
Brannock ridged. Pro-life apocalypse. Thank you.
Lesson learned: Google Voice excels at generating sweet band names. [Source]
I know you're a truck so would love to get some more details as to what happened and how the the what transpired between you guys with you and have a meeting. Xxx address my neck
Lesson learned: Strange threats abound when the world learns you’re a motor vehicle. [Source]
Low testing then that we will require what what what what what was asking but our answer will be okay.
Lesson learned: Porky Pig takes over transcription when all servers are busy. [Source]
Hey this is Steve loaded down with our media. I was John. Shall I give me your number.
Lesson learned: Split personalities will never divulge your contact information to each other without permission. [Source]
Hi Melissa, It's, irmalina babies.
Lesson learned: Before introducing herself, Irmalina Babies always pauses for dramatic effect. [Source]
hi allen my name is white and my number is area code (626) 523-8023 once again the number is (562) 652-3808
Lesson learned: For a computer algorithm, Google Voice is really bad with numbers. [Source]
I want to try to put some angel fund money into your mother
Lesson learned: And that’s how babies are born! [Source]
Hi Steven, This is a con.
Lesson learned: Rollout of Google Polygraph is an overnight success. [Source]
Hey don't forget your dad killed her name. Be careful on the way. Read some pretty clear down here bomb within like 130 to be careful. Bye
Lesson learned: For giggles, Google Voice might get you flagged as a terrorist. [Source]
Hi again This is Michael. So calling from Ralph there. Volkswagen lasagna.
Lesson learned: Hey, it beats Maserati wienerschnitzel. [Source]
Yes. Hey Kyle, status Tuesday morning. Give me a call or cocaine XXX-XXXX-XXXX when you can please bye.
Lesson learned: Sometimes, e-mail and weed just aren’t enough. [Source]
Here are a few sent in by readers:
We have received your mileage plus visa's long zero certificate to exchange against your tickets leaving the 18th of March from Baltimore to ass pens and we do need to have your form of payment...
Lesson learned: No one rides to ass pens for free. [Thanks, Erin!]
Hi Casey, this Isham was urkel wireless just wanted to touch base with you for the installation at the top of the Ghandi. Tomorrow our installer. Jared wanted to just meet you at the top of the Ghandi, .... He will just meet you at the top of the gandhi Thank you.
Lesson learned: Typecast out of Hollywood, Jaleel White found spirituality as the head of his own telco business. [Thanks, Casey!]
I understand that I shipped to drives to you and your or bur I need to learn a little courtesy. It's 105-8001 of these tries. I sent by mistake. Catacombs alert me to death and it is supposed to go tickets yet, so I need for you to call me back if you have any questions, please send it backs overnight next day air ticket.
Lesson learned: The easiest way to show courtesy is to avoid talking about catacombs and death during business. [Thanks, Marques!]
These last ones are from Harry’s own Google Voice inbox:
Hi Harry, it's Danny. I'm calling on behalf of India.
Lesson learned: Do not underestimate Technologizer’s influence.
Hi Harry, This is Curtis, We have got a piece at Jesus. I don't know what was in my mouth.
Lesson learned: Google Voice does not support separation of church and embarrassing transcriptions.
Harry, This is Michael, Please bear with Microsoft.
Lesson learned: Google Propaganda, another new service, works flawlessly.